Another sunrise

How often do you see the sun rise? This is probably my fifth or sixth in the past two weeks. Aparently Evan's grandma was amazed at our schedule - she must have forgotten that we're in a band.



Tonight's show was fantastic, and I find New York fascinating. We went to Times Square afterwards and the giant M&M's enthralled me. I'm so pumped about D.C. later today. So anyway the show - the four of us are definitely getting in the groove together. Andy is finding his footing on bass and Jamie actually knows the names to our songs now!

Ah yes you're probably wondering how we even made it to New York without Funkwagen. We ended up renting a van from Enterprise. It's navigational capabilities are significantly more sick-nasty, but the comfort level has dropped. There are only two seats, so when we brake sometimes massive bass amps slam into the small of my back. Speaking of slamming into things, I forgot to mention that the night before Funkwagen's transmission decided to cross the river Styx and never look back we were in another accident.

So I'm casually driving in Atlanta, Georgia, around 11PM on a Saturday night. Suddenly a white Jeep crosses FOUR LANES on the highway, apparently intending to plow into the side of our lovely lady Ms Tahtkraft. Jamie is screams and I yell unimaginable profanities. I can't switch into the other lane because I'm in a massive airport shuttle and I don't want to pwn another car chilling in my blindspot, so I brake and swerve as much as a can. The jeep clips the front end and teeters madly off into the distance ahead of us. Still cursing, I try to speed up and see who the guy is but of course Funkwagen is wounded and in no shape for a high speed pursuit. A copper passes us but doesn't turn his lights on. Aparently he didn't notice the hit and run.

I pull off to the side of the road, and miraculously our only damage is a dent and a missing brake light. We still have the headlight, the bumper and hood are unscathed, etc. Before it sped off Jamie noticed that Jeep got pretty beat up, while our hardy and courageous Funkwagen sustained only minor injuries. A fitting vehicle for a band dubbed Moxie indeed.

Marooned in Maryland

It's 4PM on Monday afternoon and we're cruising through the tunnel under the Baltimore Harbor in Maryland. We've been on the road for twenty hours and have only about four left until our final destination in New York City. Funkwagen is having a lot of trouble accelerating.

One minute later, the engine temp arrow leaps frantically to the "H." I start cursing as thick gray smoke begins to stream out of our tailpipe. I coast to the nearest exit and while desperately changing lanes. We're going about 15 mph and cars are building up behind us. We're on an overpass and incredibly there is a shoulder for us to pull onto. At this point the thick foreboding haze is billowing out from under the hood and permeating the interior. The stench of burning oil is frightening and I seriously think the car is going to explode. Throwing it in park we leap wildly our the bi-fold doors into fresh air. I rush to the hood to let out the smoke and see a pool of dark oil accumulating underneath the engine.

Eventually the smoke clears and the tow-truck comes. I'm thankful that Jamie is an AAA+ member (the + gives you 100 free miles of towing). He knows cars and he's certain that the transmission has finally given out. Oh Funkwagen I pray that you will heal.

Jamie and I are in the tow truck while Evan and Andy wait on the highway for a cab. Suddenly the driver curses. We turn around and to our great surpise Funkwagen is no longer with us. As we went up the hill she somehow slipped off the tow-truck and careened over a guardrail and a parked car in a parking lot. We couldn't help it, Jamie and I just started to laugh. I guess Funkwagen just wasn't getting enough action or had a lot of subconscious issues to play out today. Ironically, she crashed into the parking lot of a mechanic that specializes in transmissions!

Meanwhile, Andy and Evan are getting accosted by the local police. While they wait for their cab (which never came, Aerocab sucks), an officer of the law runs their IDs and requires a great deal of persuasion to believe that our beloved Moxie mates are not really grafitti artists. What? That doesn't even make sense. To cap it off, he doesn't offer them a ride. Luckily, Alex, the owner of Majestic Automotive Repair kindly offers to pick them up for us. He also later drops us off at the hotel where I currently type this blog.

Check back soon for videos of the damage and the towing, and perhaps some elaboration of details. Of course the question now is, what the hell are we going to do? We have a show in NY on Wednesday and another in D.C. on Thursday. I had to cancel two shows we were working on for the weekend but might get some happy hour type gigs added in Baltimore since that seems to be where we'll be. The question of course is, how are we getting our equipment to the gigs? Doc my roommate from Spain has offered to pick us up, we might rent a car, we might rent a uhaul for Ned's parents car. Any ideas, suggestions? What do you think of our adventures so far? What would you spend your time doing if you were carless (and rather the opposite of careless) on the North-Eastern outskirts of Baltimore, MD?

Have you checked out our moxieplease.blogspot.com?

Highlights from Mississippi: (other than the aforementioned story)

- Laser tag: I totally got first place and as a team we owned those twelve year olds
- Benny's Boom Boom Room and their free beer
- Hiring Julie as our booking agent
- Julie busting Evan' head open

I have to learn how to post videos without linking them. More soon

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your Moxie

Okay so last night’s show was great. Way to go Julie for setting it up. The venue used to be a motel, so you go in to this funky bar area and then you walk down a narrow hallway for about thirty feet with little rooms branching off of it (three of these narrow rooms were girl’s bathrooms) until it opens up to the stage area bespeckled with columns erected in seeming disregard to structural integrity. It was a lot of fun to play and the crowd definitely dug our style and starting grooving along with us. We had a drunk older man “pole dance” on one of those haphazardly placed columns, and another buy us drinks. The guys in the band that played after us, Decifer, were really nice and I appreciated playing with them.

Last night we crash at a friend of Julie’s house in Hattiesburg. By the time we get there everyone was passed out. We commandeer an empty room and set up shop. We are the brink of sleep when suddenly a random drunk guy waltzes in and flops face down on the bed between Jamie and Evan. Andy and I giggle uncontrollably into a pillow.

He suddenly realizes that he is not alone in the bed. He looks left and right.
“There are two guys in my bed. This is so GAY. . . who are you?”
Jamie: “Jamie.”
“Who are you?”
Evan: “Evan.”
“I don’t even know you . . .” he mutters and he gets up and leaves.
All four of us burst into maniacal laughter.

He returns three minutes later:
“Yall aren’t bangin in my bed are you? ‘Cause that would be NASTY.”
Jamie: “No we were just asleep”
“I mean I just saw you putting your pants back on and I mean please tell me you weren’t hooking up.”
Jamie: No, I don’t sleep fully clothed

. . .pause . . .

“One, two, three, four, five. It would be great if four, or five of you left right now.”

. . .pause . . .

Andy: “Yeah could we sleep on your floor?”

I’m going to Jackson . . .

We got booked in a fever
Hotter than Funkwagen’s temp
We’ve been driving to Jackson
Ever since that fan shroud’s in

We’re going to Jackson, we’re going to mess around
Yeah we’re going to Jackson, look out Moxie’s in town

Andy was more or less certain that we weren’t going to make it to our gig tonight in Jackson Mississippi. Funkwagen’s tune-up was supposed to be done in a day, but then the mechanics realized we needed a new fan shroud. Apparently you can only get one of these in Chicago. Apparently you can’t drive to Mississippi without a fan shroud. Apparently, (or by the grace of God) you can make it to Jackson even if you leave 25 hours later than your original plan.

Oh yeah let me introduce you to our two new members: Jamie Zimmer, our new drummer. He has the quote of the day. “I don’t like beer. Or wine. I only drink liquor. I’m high maintenance.” Let me also introduce you to Andy Whitten, our new bassist, formally the drummer of the band Moxie. For three nights in a row, he slept naked with Evan.

New Orleans by nightfall, Houston by sunrise

You know you’re on tour when:

You only eat one meal a day
You shower once every three days
You sleep in a closet that doubles as a band practice room
You sleep entirely on other people’s couches
You introduce yourself by your web address
Your schedule consists of only four things: driving, performing, sleeping, and booking
You think that this sort of lifestyle is “living the dream”

Our talented trio has intrepidly overcome the first wave of paucity and unprepared ness and has now settled in a lush River Oaks pool house to lick their wounds and ready them for the rest of the daunting summer that beckons so innocently. To ready our trusty steed for the challenges that await us on the treacherous thousands of miles of uncharted pavement, we must install a new radiator and battery. To bring the glory of Moxie to all the tribes of the north, we must exchange hours of radiant sunlight for the dim glow of our laptops to book the stages of our conquest and alert the people of our eminent arrival. And to give to the deep night the conversation and laughter it so thoroughly deserves we had to celebrate. Playing games of skill, swimming, imbibing, cooking, and finally dreaming as the sun slipped unexpectedly through the shutters of the Lexington house to tickle Evan’s eyelashes.

Check out our videos on photobucket. There are some funny clips, like this one of Gabe singing.



Quote of the week:
(My aunt, with sarcasm, in response to the fact that we did not have a place to stay in New Orleans)
“I’m sure there are plenty of unoccupied houses you could sleep at”

bumper sticker brainstorm

The other night we were brainstorming bumper sticker ideas. Most of these would be followed by www.moxieplease.com in small lettering beneath. Let us know which ones you like the best.

I've never been to www.moxieplease.com

my kid can beat up your www.moxieplease.com

support our moxie

i went to www.moxieplease.com and all i got was this lousy bumper sticker

like orgasms? (( www.moxieplease.com ))

my other vehicle is www.moxieplease.com

join the funkwagen

if you can read this, you're not blind

if you can read this, good job!

if you can read this, congratulations! want a sticker?

in a pickle? get out! (( www.moxieplease.com ))

ex president william h. clinton hates moxie

sleep naked

sleep vegan

we're on the pill. (( www.moxieplease.com ))